Saturday, February 28

Andy Nemeth, West Hollywood

When Andy isn't laughing, he's smiling, cracking jokes or shopping for cashmere sweatpants. "I only wear four suits," he says in the courtyard of his home/fantasy world. "A sweatsuit, a swimsuit, a wetsuit or my birthday suit."

I should've known, since I met him years ago when I was working in retail and he was a USC student looking for high-end leisurewear.

Andy and his big, friendly personality will land some kind of hosting gig on television, I'm sure, but right now he's in the beginning stages of putting together a blog or something, so when he does, I'll link to it. In the meantime, let's tour AndyLand, the gated village where he lives with two other guys in a three-story townhouse. "It's a total gay frat house," he says. People are always coming and going." A portrait of the adorable roomies, formerly known as the "ambiguously employed trio":


Courtyard
Before we go inside, let's tour the courtyard. Andy and I (and pup Bailey) practiced this shot below about 17 times before getting it almost right. A maze of terracotta-tile footpaths winds around fountains and outdoor seating areas and gardens of Senegal palms, agave plants and bougainvillea. He leads me to the Writer's Court, a peaceful place with teak love seats and ornamental turtles. "It's where writers go to collect their thoughts," he explains. Andy and Bailey pose for a portrait (top), and then he shows me a tombstone engraved with a cross. "It's Harry Houdini's dog's grave." This is Hollywood, so I don't bother asking...


Living Room and Dining Room
Who gets to sit in the leather chair? The living room has a cozy fireplace and a random lit niche for object worship. On this Thursday, there are flowers from Trader Joe's. The dining room has an adjacent outdoor area, where Bailey snoozes or watches birds.

Baby Levi's Bedroom
Andy tells me that "Baby Levi," a sales associate at James Perse, is the youngest "and messiest" roomie. (We kind of made his bed.) Baby Levi, the second-most famous one in Hollywood, painted these cool birds above his bed. "He sponged them on," says Andy. "Baby Levi is so resourceful," he adds. "I mean, he's from Alaska. That kid could survive on tree bark and squirrel meat for three weeks."

Messy or not, Baby Levi is awesome for fighting for equal rights with the No on 8 campaign.

Andy's Bedroom
Upstairs, Andy's bedroom is half playful boy, half Hermes orange. I think that's a needlepoint pillow of Be-be (Bailey's nickname, pronounced Bay-bay)? Like the one in the living room, Andy's pillows look like they've been karate-chopped on top. Visitors are encouraged to scrawl on the chalkboard wall. Children's book author and manny-to-the-stars Shaun Sturz--he's a man-nanny--drew the waves. Check out his blog, Malibu Manny. On the balcony, Be-be listens intently to Andy's game plan.


Kitchen
Forget the Villeroy & Boch sink and the Groehe faucet: This is where the amibiguously employed trio keeps a breast implant on the counter to use as a paperweight. I did not style the photo below. Andy and I were in the kitchen when I watched him pick up a toy and massage it, lost in thought, before slipping it under his sweatshirt. "Oh," he said, forming the thing to his chest, "this is a breast implant! My friend's husband is a rep who sells them." He tossed it to me so I could feel for myself. It was surprisingly tough and round and...impossibly big. "It's only 150cc," said Andy. It says so on the back (in case the chest wall ever needs to be reminded). Andy styled an artful still life that he called Orchid, Candle, Breast Implant. You have to admit, if MUJI was ever gonna sell a paperweight...


5 comments:

  1. I loooved this! Mainly because Andy is my besty from grade school. In holding such a regal social position, I must say, you describe him perfectly. xo!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Candi?! I've totally heard about you from Andy! He's a doll, isn't he? I smile every time I see this post. Thanks for stopping by!

    ReplyDelete
  3. The birds in Baby Levi's Bedroom isn't it awesome...I love the interior...

    Plastic Surgeon Houston

    ReplyDelete
  4. does anybody know when this series will start screening in australia and on what channel?

    Thank you
    Brad Fallon

    ReplyDelete